Folding laundry is a necessary evil, and someone has to do it. Most days I can find a measure of relaxation in folding laundry. It’s methodical and can become almost zen-like in the rhythm of pick up, sort, fold, organize. However, when you throw toddlers into the mix it becomes an exercise in craziness. Here are 20 steps involved in folding laundry.
1. Unload the dryer. Toddlers can be very helpful when unloading laundry. Give one a headlamp and it’s a wonderful game helping Mom unload the dryer!
2. Invite everyone to take part. See? It’s so much fun they both want to help!
3. Referee argument over headlamp. Implement sharing. Separate toddlers as they fight over headlamp.
4. Move laundry from kitchen to living room to be folded. Some toddlers will even help with moving the baskets.
5. Pick up laundry dropped from basket.
6. Start folding laundry and placing into stacks on coffee table.
7. Walk across room to retrieve laundry basket dragged away by toddler 1.
8. Step on matchbox car, and valiantly try to not swear in front of toddlers.
9. Pick up clothes from other basket that have been dragged out onto the floor by toddler 2, start to wonder about toddler conspiracies and diversion tactics.
10. Continue to fold, sort, and stack while fending off toddler 2, and keeping a close eye on toddler 1 who has inched towards the table full of stacked laundry.
11. Save folded laundry from toddler 1, who has an aversion to neatly folded things.
12. Realize that inching tactic was a ruse so that toddler 2 could get into laundry basket.
13. Watch as toddler 1 joins him in throwing socks all over the place and gets into basket as well.
14. Realize that laundry baskets are also, trains, planes, automobiles, and boats.
15. Remove toddlers from basket. Give them a cracker to occupy them while loading the basket with neatly folded laundry.
16. Chase toddlers away from full basket of neatly folded laundry.
17. Remind self that drinking while parenting is a bad idea…
18. Have brilliant idea, and put toddlers down to nap.
19. Listen to howls of indignation fade to sleepy grumbles and snores.
20. Finish laundry.